Stock Taking!

As many of you know, I suffer from anxiety. It is under control most of the time but occasionally it creeps into everyday life. This week over at Sleep is for the Weak, one of the prompts for the writing workshop is ‘Taking Stock’. When I saw it I thought –‘Now that’s a good one. I could do with taking stock.’ Then I realised that when the demons arrive I take stock. I decide that everything I thought was good is not; all the things I had begun were rubbish and basically I need to ‘be retired’ by sitting & watching TV! Sometimes, these ‘stock taking thoughts’ can happen two & three times a day!

Now obviously, that was not the thinking behind the prompt so I’m going to do it ‘properly’ & maybe when those little b%&$£*ds come calling I can tell them to bugger off go away.

So- here I am, having been retired from headship for just over two years:

  •  I am fitter than I was. This is because I have been able to exercise regularly & walk a lot more out in the fresh air.
  • I am a little fatter than I was! There, I have put it into black & white & into the public domain! This has meant that I have looked at my wardrobe & thrown away those clothes marked ‘when I lose a little weight’. Who was I kidding?! I’m going to treat myself to some new clothes & be comfortable with me.
  • I have re-discovered my enjoyment in cooking & all that it entails. I like finding the recipe, writing the shopping list & going shopping. I’m told that my family is now eating a far healthier diet!
  • I have discovered a new world. Not in the terms of an astronomer but here on the blogosphere. I didn’t have any idea that it existed two years ago let alone consider joining it. Now I have two blogs & a wealth of contacts, colleagues & friends.
  • Through my blogs, I have found that people do value me for who I am & the contribution I make to their lives. That is truly amazing! Previously, I was paid & I was ‘in charge’ & that meant that other people did not have the choice of whether to be alongside me.

So…given that I had no idea what life held for me & being really scared that it was a black hole, I don’t think I’m doing too badly. My darling OH is really pleased as there are not so many tears, worries & stresses. Yes, the stock is good!

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