It’s Monday – Writing Workshop day. I looked at the prompts & this one jumped out: Pick an emotion that best represents your state of mind right now and write creatively on that theme.
How do I feel NOW? Rubbish of course- its Monday! I feel useless, sad, can’t see the point in anything, can’t be bothered – it’s MONDAY!
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you will know that Mondays have always been my bête noir. I had assumed that this dislike was part of the culture of going to work. It was the ‘it’s the end of the week-end and back to the grindstone’ feeling. It was getting back into the routine which is really essential but difficult to accept. However, when I retired, these Monday feelings continued. Is it the fact that we try to have a clear distinction between the ‘working week’ and the restful week-end? Don’t know.
Anyway, I decided to take the opportunity presented by the prompt to try and reflect on my feelings. We don’t take enough time to stop & think do we? I realised that the last 72 hours had been an emotional roller-coaster ride and unpicking them may shed some light on my present state of mind.
As those of you who have read ‘Home Alone’ will know, OH was away for the week-end. Although I’ve been around for quite a few years (!) being on my own for anything more than a day is very unusual and to be perfectly honest I’m not really comfortable with it. So, a dear friend of many years offered to come over & spend time with me. We were going to have our own ‘sleep-over’ with DVDs & she would cook supper.
Although it was a wonderful idea, I could feel the tension mount as soon as the arrangements had been made. We would go shopping for the main ingredients and I offered to provide the store cupboard things such as herbs, spices etc so the cupboards had to be tidied and wiped down. (I’ve never understood how cupboards get SO grubby when all they do is store bottles & jars!).
She arrived resembling a mobile chef! Bless her- she had brought everything apart from the kitchen sink but including a wok! I felt SO embarrassed! Did she bring her wok because a) she didn’t know I had one or b) she didn’t want to use mine! In the state I was getting myself in I chose to believe B!
As we went shopping I began to relax. Walking is her passion so we strolled out but that caused me tension as well! She lives in the country with fields that are easily accessible for ramblers so I was wondering how she felt about walking around my streets, even though they were ‘OK’ streets. Returning home, I was sent to chill-out while supper was prepared. I was very grateful for twitter as it took my mind off what was happening in the kitchen. My nerves were about the opinion that was being formed about the quality of my house keeping. Would you have worried or relaxed?
The meal was delicious and we watched ‘Bright Star’ – very deep but enjoyable. We also made a plan for Saturday starting with brunch at a favourite place of mine. I went to bed with my shoulders gradually dropping and believing that ‘I can do this’! What do they say about ‘the best laid plans of mice & men’? I woke up feeling incredibly hung-over! I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol and had been in bed by 10.30pm. My dear friend has a routine which includes special coffee and a variety of herbal teas one of which she refers to as the ‘sleepy’ one. She gave me one to help me sleep and I can only assume it was that that made me feel so poorly.
Nevertheless, I had promised brunch and who knows, the grease & fats in a cooked breakfast may be just what I needed! As it turned out we had a lovely time (I didn’t eat a thing) but we were able to get into that ‘two dear friends spending quality time together’. When she left I was feeling relaxed and happy about the hours that I was going to be on my own.
As it turned out they were not as many as I had presumed. My DS arrived the next morning to ‘do lunch’ and go shopping. It is always lovely to spend time with him listening to his tales and sharing some of his thoughts (but that’s for another post!). As always though, I felt low when he left. There is always a gap for a while until I get back into the swing of things.
OH returned a triumphant warrior having won the match and so soon things were back to normal. Of course, normal includes Monday but perhaps there was more to explain the feelings this time.
Do you agree with me & Bob Geldof & Hugh Laurie about Mondays?