The bowl above is an attractive one. Somewhere there are salad servers that match. The type with wooden spoon & fork shapes with china handles that match the bowl. Altogether a nice set.
So, why you may ask am I writing about it? Well it has made me very sad. I was given the bowl last week when we met up with the newly-weds. They had been asked by DS grandma to give it to me. I was a bit confused at first as to the reason for the gift. The reason for the get-together had been to celebrate my birthday but grandma has long stopped giving me gifts & besides it wasn’t wrapped.
After a few questions it all became clear. The bowl had been a present to grandma from my mother a long time ago (mum has been gone for over 30 years so a long time). It was still in a pristine condition as if it hadn’t ever been used. The children explained that grandma had been doing some sorting out & seemed to be getting rid of things. That made me sad.
She is 89 & as you may know has recently had a stroke. She is now bedridden but completely in charge of all her faculties. When speaking to her on the phone there is only a slight change in her pronunciation to indicate anything is different. I felt so sad that she was now at that time of her life when she was ‘sorting out’. Obviously, folk do sort out financial affairs before they leave this mortal toil partly to save squabbling but also I hope so that they can share in the delight of those who have benefitted. That is completely different to giving away china! It felt almost as if Grandma had borrowed the bowl & was returning it.
To me this lady is my mother-in-law. Although she is the mum of my first husband (remember I’ve had 3!‘Magnificent 7!‘) she is the only one to hold that position. She is my son’s Grandma & is a very key part in all our lives. She was never a large woman so the gradual shrinkage of her body is not such a shock. She still has opinions about the family & we still would not dare argue!(see ‘Bewitched’)
But there is still the bowl. I had to ask her about it & it turns out that furniture had to be moved upstairs to accommodate the changes needed to convert the lounge to hospital ward. The bowl had been in the side-board (do we have those now?) & they didn’t think it was worth taking it upstairs. So it was ‘given back’. Although it was not a conscious decision to ‘sort out’, it still feels like tying up lose ends & has got me thinking about all the things we collect over a life time. Maybe we should give them out before we leave rather than leaving them to be ‘cleared out’ by those we leave behind.
Will you ‘sort out’ before you go do you think?