Get a Room!

Thankfully, the days when folks like Oscar Wilde were imprisoned and ridiculed for their sexuality are no longer with us in Europe. There is a far more liberal approach to partnerships and relationships in general.

HOWEVER (rant alert!)

I was really unsettled the other evening when we were sat next to a gay couple. Although I may not like swearing ‘Wash your Mouth Out’ I have no problems with gay or lesbian relationships. Each to his own I say and for fear of coming out with a terrible cliché, I do have close friends who are gay. Unfortunately, the couple we were next to clearly felt the need to tell the world they were a couple by going out of their way to hold hands across the table. This involved moving the condiments and wine to the point that the waitress arranged an additional chair to put some of the items on.

A series of passionate kisses took place, again across the table which was obviously for our benefit. I felt really sad about their insecurity. They were both wearing wedding band type rings which were clearly a symbol of their feelings  for each other so there was no need for such OTT sentiments of affection.

As I felt so moved by it, I reviewed my feelings after the meal. Why did it affect me so? Was I in fact harbouring some unconscious narrow-mindedness? No – I don’t think so. I think it was because had they been a heterosexual couple, someone may well have commented about such out pouring over the dinner table in a busy restaurant. Why is it different for a homosexual couple? Having become more liberal in our approach, have we abandoned the right to comment on behaviour for fear of criticism of prejudice?

Was it all done for us? Did they want to be alone and hoped they would ‘frightened’ us away? If so it didn’t work although I might have moved had I realised they were smokers!


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  • I don’t know why, but overly public displays of affection make me quite uncomfortable.

  • Julia, if they had to clear the table of condiments to make room for physical love stuff, it was OTT no matter who they were —
    I’m with hpretty.Open and lavish petting behavior in public makes me really uncomfortable (especially at the next table, especially accompanied by cigarette smoke) and I don’t care what combination of sexuality is indulging in it.
    Given societal mores these days, however, I doubt that — had they been heterosexual— anyone would have spoken up about it either. People don’t. And restaurant personnel certainly don’t.
    It’s always possible they were doing it “for you,” but you know what? I really don’t think so. I think they were doing it for them, whatever concatenation of motives that encompasses.
    If they were a heterosexual couple you might have felt less conflicted, but I suspect you — like hpretty and me, would still find it offensive.
    AND —
    you are entitled to! It’s bad manners, however dinosaur-ish that makes me sound!

  • I agree about it is better than before but have we actually come as far as we thought! Thank you SO much for commenting. It is really, really appreciated!

  • I hate public snogging, boy on girl, boy on boy, girl on girl, girl on dog. I’ve written about it before. Can’t comment on this exp as wasn’t there and I woyld have felt uncomfortable and annoyed for sure, but I can’t help feeling rather this than the situation 10 years ago when a gay coyple would have felt too vulnerable to hold hands walking down the street.

    I’m liking these recent posts. X

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