Thoughts spinning round so….

 I feel really low at not going to Cybermummy. Now, I could have gone but decided that I wouldn’t as I wasn’t sure I’d fit. No – honestly. The title is Cybermummy &  ‘mummy’ rather than mother indicates people with young children.

 So, here I am. The older woman who is a mother but not a mummy. I have entered this arena but is it on false pretences?  Holly has already posted an excellent piece on Cybermummy & the position of blogging mums. 

It really got me thinking about my blog & what it is for. Yes I enjoy writing but my skills are way below many of those I follow. I do enjoy being part of things like the Gallery & Writing Workshop but realize that much of it  is in the contact it gives me rather than the intrinsic pleasure of posting. I have always had this need to be part of the group. Comes from my lack of confidence I suppose but I’d hoped that it would not surface at this late time in ‘my development’. After all, if I haven’t sorted it by now when will I?!

So, where do I go from here.  Perhaps I need to organize a ‘Cyber Get together for those not classified as Mummies’. (it would let the chaps in!).

 Umm – off to have a think! Maybe I’ll post lwith my findings later!

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  • Julia! Next time you really must come. I’ll come over and give you a hug and you’ll be fine. It’s not about mummies, or bloggers, at least for me it wasn’t, it was just about getting together with other people. I sat out of one of the workshops because I wanted to chat with people. I’m not a particularly sociable person, I spent most days on my own, but I really enjoyed it. So do think about it next time, and of course your writing is good enough, but it really isn’t about that. x

    • Thank you so much Rosie! I could hear that ‘Julia’ – just like my mum. I got myself in a real pickle about it but it was good becasue I’ve sorted out what my blog is for so that was positive. I’ll see what I can do next year. Hopefully by then I’ll ‘know’ more people.
      Thanks for popping in – means a lot!

  • I had reservations too, but I’m so glad I went. The best part of the day was meeting good friends for the first time. It would be lovely to meet you one day, perhaps at a tweet-up? x

    • That would be great. I think I still feel ‘new’ so wouldn’t know that many folk even the key players. Maybe next time!
      Thank you so much for stopping by to comment!

  • Paula

    Hey Julia – I went, despite my reservations about the title, and despite my feeling that I wasn’t the target audience. I’ve drafted a post about it but I don’t know if I’ll publish it as I’m very aware of the ‘enough already’ feelings.

    Personally it was all about the social side for me – I met people who I’ve been speaking to for ages and who I would have struggled to meet at any other time. I heard posts read out by people in their true voice, with every inflection and nuance in the right place, as opposed to my supposition when reading. I laughed and cried – a lot. And it truly was a wonderful day.

    I wish you’d have come – you’d have absolutely loved it.


    • Thank you for commenting P! I do appreciate it & I’m so glad you had a great day. I didn’t mean to sound off about CM, it was more how I was feeling about me & my blog. Maybe next year eh!x

  • Can’t wait to mweet you next week. We’ll talk about PND/OCD etc ‘cos I’m going to do a series about those sort of things & it is not for sympathy!

    See you Sunday!

  • Aly

    I didn’t go because it was expensive and the chances of getting a sponsor were nil.Plus I would of had to taken my 2 yo with me.Not sure what people would of thought of that.I find myself in a doldrum with my blog.I have about 20 unpublished posts because I’m sure people would be interested in reading them (not that I get many hits anyway).I find myself just posting random photos of my kids (or hubby making a tit of himself on sports day).I suffer from PND, anxiety, OCD and I don’t want to blog about those things because well, I don’t want the sympathy.Yes I am a mummy but not much of a blogger.It was fun last night tweeting #notgoingtocybermummy last night and I can’t wait to meet you and the other #bristoltweetup folks.Small groups work better for me any way.Oh, yeah and I waffle.

  • Grumpy though this makes me – I just wish I could filter out anything with Cybermummy from my timelines and my posts. Sick of hearing about it and actually like a little more variety in my timeline that everyone telling each other how wonderful they are. I don’t blog competitively. I blog for me. If it’s bad quality, tough, I’m still writing it. I love the community but for me this goes too far

    • It is a bit OTT at the moment. I’m sure it was really good fun & v informative but for those of us who weren’t there, well…!

  • Gosh, Julia, this is a toughie. I would’ve loved to go to Cybermummy, but largely because I would’ve loved to meet lots of people whose blogs I love, or with whom I exchange tweets or comments regularly. I’d have been the disruptive one, saying hello to everyone. Money, distance and the fact it was my daughter’s birthday party at 10am today meant I couldn’t go. But I do question myself why I would want to go to be a better blogger. I’m not really in it for the financial rewards. I love it when people read my blog, enjoy my posts or are exercised enough by them to comment on them. I guess it would be great if I could partly earn some form of living from it, but that’s not why I do it. We are all different, but there are blogs out there that are really interesting, look lovely and I bet get lots of traffic. But you look at them, and a high percentage of their posts plug products or services, reviewing them, or giving them away in competitions. Would I want that for myself? Would that somehow detract from the non-commercial side of my blog? Would it damage my credibility? If Cybermummy was promoting that side of blogging, I’m not sure of the value of a day like that to me. If it was more about developing my skill as a writer, then maybe that would’ve been more useful. The social side is definitely worth it, but I don’t need a £100 conference to do that. We can organise a tweetup or a blogmeet which would cost me no more than a bit of travel and the cost of refreshments.

    I hate feeling like I am on the sidelines of something tho. I have been in that place many times in my life tho, as I’m always doing something a little bit different. Ain’t no shame in that.

    • Thank you SO much for your comments. It has made me realise that like you, I’m not in it for the money but for the comaraderie, friendship & something for me.

      Love to get together! When? Where?

  • I had exactly the same reservations. I could’ve gone, I sort of wanted to go to meet people that a felt I have a connection with in the blogosphere, but that was also a little scary. But like you felt it was aimed more at ‘Mummys’ with much younger children than I have (youngest is 16). And now the same as you feel as if I missed out (no pleasing us is there?!? LOL) As for writing, I’m still not sure I do really ‘write’ I just put down a load of rambling thoughts. I’ve always reading enjoyed your posts, and I don’t think it matters ‘why’ you blog, whether for the pleasure of writing or for the contact with readers it brings.

    • Thank you for taking the time to visit & comment. I was worried that I’d got it completely out of proportion. I couldn’t read the tweets after a while!! Have left a comment about email subs at yours.

  • You are a mother – you have as much right to be there as anyone 🙂

    If it’s any consolation, I found it absolutely terrifying. I’m a sociable person and I like people, but I found it difficult to ‘network’ amongst people I didn’t know at all. I came home with a bag full of business cards because I couldn’t bring myself to give them out much – I only ended up giving them to people I knew anyway! There was more than one bolt to the ladies for me, I can tell you!

    • Oh I do wish I could have been there to be with you. I hope you had a bit of a good time as well. Aren’t we funny folk!

      Thank you for taking the time to stop by. You must be qyuite tired!

  • Firstly I think you would have totally fitted in. There was a real mix of people bmaybe some of the goodies wouldn’t have been for you bit then again whi can’t find a use for baby wipes 🙂
    Secondly, I’m amazed that you don’t feel your writing is as good as others. I love it and especially enjoy your contributions to the Writing Workshop.
    I think it’s quite common to have a blog crisis every now and again but I for one really hope you carry on. One of the things I love about your blog is that you bring a different perspective to the whole mummy/mother thing. It’s what gives you your edge. Something a bit different. xx

    • Thank you SO much! I am really touched by your words. You’ve given me a renewed sense of the whole thing. It’s like Chris said about labels. They can be useful but also restrictive & divisive.

      Thank you for commenting & do keep visitng!

  • I really struggled with whether to go or not.

    1. It was very expensive
    2. OH was working and I can’t off load 4 kids on ballet etc day
    3. I’m not keen on large group gatherings

    but mainly I struggle with the Mummy Blogger thing. Which, in this case, was silly. It would have been great to pick up some blogging tips about the techie stuff which baffles me. BUT, they were blogging as they went and I can always ask.

    I don’t like labels, I never have. I don’t like being marketed to. I don’t want to limit myself. But, but, but…I don’t know! I’m a bit confused too and trying to maintain my sense of purpose (which we can chat about next week!)

    I REALLY enjoyed #notgoingtocybermummy . I picked up 20 new followers and ‘met’ some lovely people I hadn’t encountered before.

    We’ll swap telephone numbers next week and can support each other through the highs and lows. xxx

  • although i am a “mummy” of two little boys, i understand how you feel. I didn’t even think to go yesterday (blogging too new for me) but i would be torn deciding whether to next year. Half of me would really love to go, and the other half wouild feel like too much of an outsider, too self conscious, a bit scared to be honest! big groups like that scare me. and can it really be as friendly as everyone is saying? come on it’s a room full of girls – surely there must have been some “cliques”?

    • You did make me smile & feel so much better! It’s this wanting to be a part ofit but scared that I’ve always had!

      Maybe we canhave our own little meet up! Not near Bristol are you? THere are 5 of us getting together next Sunday 11th

  • Mine only call me ‘Mummy’ when they want something!
    I was wondering if we ccould have a ‘cybergran’ too.

  • Why not a cyberblogger conference?

    BTW-there is not one single person in this world who doesn’t at one point or another doubt or hate themselves.

  • Ok firstly once a MUmmy always a Mummy but I hear what your saying My kids 19-25 do not call me Mummy even tho I always sign thing Mummie ( The way my grandmother signed things to her children so I decided to reawaken the tradition) so come up with something and count me in how about cyber notmummy or granny
    these are all anagrams of cyber mummy

    Crumby Me My
    Crumby Em My
    Be Crummy My
    Be Cry Mummy
    Bum Mercy My
    By Mercy Mum I like this one
    By Rec Mummy
    By Crummy Me
    By Crummy Em
    Be Cry Mum My
    Bye Cum Mr My
    Bey Cum Mr My
    Bum Cry Me My
    Bum Cry Em My
    By Rec Mum My
    By Cum Rem My
    By Cry Me Mum
    By Cry Em Mum
    Anyway happy hunting

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